My mom sank into a depression and began dating a man who was all wrong for her. We moved from place to place, often with no money to buy groceries and having our utilities shut off for lack of payment.
Fallout from Affairs
Q: My friend, a single mom of one child, had an abortion two years ago. She’s still living at home with her parents. Her mom said she wasn’t allowed to live there any more if she had the baby. As a result, she had the abortion — even though I told her she could get special housing and be out of an environment that’s unhealthy for her.
I had a baby several months ago after being told I wouldn’t be able to. It had taken a long time for me to conceive. I also have another child who’s the same age as hers.
I gave her abortion hotline numbers but she hasn’t called them. She says she’s getting counselling in the New Year.
She’s my best friend and won’t even come near my baby, who I’m so thankful for. She never listens to me, so I have no clue what I’m supposed to do. I don’t want to just go out with her and not include the baby. Sometimes that’s OK, but not always.
A: You’ve been a good friend, trying to give good advice. But abortion is a very emotional, personal choice, filled with conflicts and, in her case, pressures. It seems she regrets it, and is embarrassed with you. Or she feels judged, even if mistakenly, since you’re trying to stay friends.
You need to talk to her about this. It may be that, for awhile you stay in touch, but just get together occasionally, without children. It may be — and you need to accept this — that until she has counselling that helps her handle her emotions you two will have to stay apart.
TIP OF THE DAY
If intent on having an affair, be prepared for the fallout on your kids — and your responsibility to help them through it.
Email firstname.lastname@example.org. Ellie chats at noon Wednesdays at thestar.com/elliechat. Follow @ellieadvice.